What Happens When You Forget Oil and Water Don’t Mix (A Coffee Scrub Disaster)
I was so excited to make a fresh batch of coffee scrub… until I remembered oil and water don’t mix. Here’s how my “SHIP!” moment turned into a ruined batch—and how you can avoid the same mistake.
Matthew (Humbled) Dunn
2/1/20263 min read
My mistake batch (or the batch to learn from)
I was soooo excited to make yet another batch of coffee scrub. I measured out the exact weights/measurements to the exact degree. I had all of your Vitamin oils lined up, your coconut oil on hand, moisturising liquid soap ready to go, coffee beans handy (the laboratory smelt like a Brazilian Cafe), Epsom salts, freshly ground coffee beans and macadamia nut oil.
Excitedly, I began the mixing process of each component. When I started the mixing, something in the process told me that something wasn't right. I thought it was just me being excited for the production of my irrepressible scrub mix. I pressed on.
When I had (very proudly) finished the first batch, I put the mixture outside to naturally dry in the sun. As we were having a stinker of a day, 43 degrees in the shade, I thought it would dry in no time at all. Well, it did, and it didn't.
Unfortunately, my masterful ingredients had melted into a hotch-potch of unusable coffee grains that not even I would use on myself. Let alone sell to anyone else. That's when my old physics teacher came to my memory and yelled at me, "I've told you a million times! Oil and water will not mix!! Did you let the coffee grounds dry out first, or just go ahead with your concoction?"
The lesson I learnt
Unfortunately, I had to throw the whole batch out. Over the roses in the garden it went. The entire batch was unusable/unsellable. It was a case of humble pie for me, but great compost for my garden.
How to Do It Right Next Time (So You Don’t chuck-it-in-the-garden)
Dry your coffee grounds completely before you add anything else. Spread them out on a tray and let them air dry for a day or two, or dry them in a low oven.
Then add your oils and extras (like sugar, essential oils, etc.) once you’re sure there’s no moisture left.
Make small batches, so you use them up quickly and can tweak the recipe as you learn.
Use clean, dry containers with a lid, and avoid getting water into the jar in the shower.
If it smells odd, changes colour, or grows anything, don’t be a hero—throw it out.
Turning a “SHIP!” Moment Into Something Useful
This little disaster reminded me that mistakes in formulation aren’t failures—they’re lessons you pay for in ingredients instead of in unhappy customers. By the time a product reaches you, it’s already been through my “whoops, oil and water don’t mix” phase behind the scenes. If this story saves even one batch of your DIY scrub (or just makes you smile), it’s been worth the compost.
There is no-such-thing as mistakes in this business, or any business. Just learn-as-you-go. If anyone does make a similar mistake when formulating their own batch of DIY coffee scrub, please remember that your garden/compost loves this excellent fertiliser. Your rose garden, as mine did, will love your mistake.
